I was planning on inviting a few people from work, 3 actually, plus their guest. Now I found out that people from work aer planning a bridal shower for me. I already have almost 90 people coming to my wedding, which I have to pay for per person. I really can’t afford to invite everyone from work (think about 20 more people, plus guest, & their kids). But at the same time I feel guilty for accepting gifts & not giving invites. I can’t really say it’s only a family function since people from work are on my guest list already & I can’t really say it’s "small" when it’s about 90 people coming anyway. Am I expected to invite them once they throw me a shower?
BTW, I had no idea this shower was in the works until today, invites & planning has already started so it’s kinda hard to cancel it now.
First, you have the right to only invite your close friends on the staff. I do wonder: did they set up the shower? If so, that’s in poor taste, seeing as how it comes off as a "gift grab." Second, I am really opposed to workplace showers, whether for babies or for weddings. These kinds of things simply make people feel obligated to spend their cash, lest they seem like they’re not part of the team. While I will strenuously avoid any workplace that would operate in such a manner, not everyone can, and it’s completely unfair to the coworkers who can’t afford gifts for every special event.
If it’s not too late, is there a way to make it very clear that no gifts are expected, but that this is just a celebratory gathering, complete with a nice cake and tea? That way, if people feel motivated to give a gift, they can, but the focus will be on having it be a simple gathering, not on the gifts. And to that end, gifts should not be opened at the gathering, if it’s handled in this manner.
